Saturday, 19 February 2011
It's now been 3 days since I implemented my new rules. As you can see, things are going ok so far. There are only 2 major losses and only one of them is over the circa-£50 mark which I now am trying to always get out at. However, I'm not entirely happy with the way things have gone so far. Looking much deeper into those results shows me two really important things:
1. Almost all of the losses I've had were at one stage during the trade, a win. I had an opportunity to get out with some green but did not take it, eventually ending up red.
2. I still have a massive issue with my anger / frustration and the rules I have in place are not enough.
Rule no. 5 has been the biggest problem - I am still fixating on the amount of money. I basically have been taking too many risks. I am not thinking enough like a trader, staying in the trades for short amounts of time. Instead, I fixate on the money; it either looks too small a profit to green up or too large a loss to red up. This leads to me staying in the trade for a few points or even a few games too long. Then, when things turn against me, I don't accept I've made a mistake, which leads to a loss. That is when I get REALLY angry and lose control because I know I should not have made such a daft gamble. Going from green to red is the thing which riles me more than anything.
The Nalbandian v Robredo game I was actually £20 green on but stupidly thought I could get more, despite the fact I had just gotten myself out of a large red. The match turned against me and I had to red out. But at least I did get out - that's some progress. But not enough. My gambler's mentality took over, got greedy and wanted more. Tennis matches can swing so quickly and so violently that you can't afford to relax for one moment and think you can always predict the future.
Afterwards, I got extremely vexed and made the mistake of going straight into the Raonic v Fish game, which was into the 2nd set. The 'red mist' came down and I stuck a bet on Raonic, hoping to recover my Nalbandian loss. I soon realised I'd made a huge error as Fish took the set. My emotions were out of control and I broke down. Fortunately, the wonder-kid from Canada blew Mardy Pish out the water in the 3rd set and I greened up. But it could have ended up with a gigantic loss.
If I was a tennis player, looking at today's matches, I'd be Svetlana Kuznetsova or David Nalbandian - brilliant one moment, bloody awful the next! Zero consistency, you never know what will happen next. But I need to be like Juan Martin Del Potro or Caroline Wozniacki - consistent, mentally strong, showing very little emotion. They'd be great traders! I now realise that I need to add a new rule; 'After a loss, SWITCH OFF the PC'. It really is the only way I definitely won't lose control. I can then calm down and come back and act more like a sane person!
But looking at the positives, I have done everything else on the list of rules really well. Talking through every game, in particular, has helped me. I just now need to remember to keep my trades short and don't get greedy and go for more. I have actually thrown away some large wins because of this. It's that all important word again - PATIENCE. But things are improving, no doubt about it.